How do you find motivation and self support to power through the tough times and stay motivated to write?
It can be difficult to want to write
someone else’s story when you are unsure of your own.
You may ask yourself, “What is the point of this?”, “Who is going to read this anyway?” or, you may have the kind of mindset that puts yourself down, “Why should I waste my time when no one is going to read this.” or “I don’t have the money to market this when I’m done so why should I finish it?”
These are all thoughts we have from time to time and is completely normal, but it is not a mindset you should practice everyday.
Eventually, you will find that you no longer take the time to write and you lose that “fire” inside of you that is your passion for writing.
You may even end up slipping into a depression and find that you spend more time with your bed than you do with anything else.
I can relate to how easily it is to fall into the mindset that you’re not good enough. It is hard to not get discouraged, especially when so many people around you may possess a Master’s, you may not have the normal career choice that will make you a millionaire or you may even find that the people you thought would support your journey, aren’t as supportive as you thought they would be.
Sometimes you may even feel there is a time frame around your goal, not a personal one but one that others EXPECT.
I want you to know this. You do not have to become what others want you to be, you need to become who YOU want to be.
You are who you will be with for the rest of your life, there is no doubt about that.
You wake up with yourself in the morning and you go to bed with yourself at night.
You are always there with YOU.
You have to create a mindset that will empower you, one that instead of telling yourself you are not good enough, you ask “is this good enough for me?”
Now, empowering yourself does not mean that you look at yourself as the new King or Queen of the world and nothing is more worthy than you. That is not self-empowerment. You are not the God or Goddess of Asgard, Sorry.
Empowering yourself is giving yourself encouragement, support, love, hope, and allowing yourself to see your worth.
I have lost sight of my worth many times due to people who knew me well enough to know that I tend to give and expect little in return. This trait isn’t a bad one, but surrounded by the wrong people you will easily be taken advantage of. Some people prey on others who they know possess this trait.
My mother used to beg me to see my self worth while I was growing up, she would ask me to love myself and didn’t understand why it was so hard for me to empower and love myself.
It wasn’t until 2017 that it hit me like a freight train.
I thought it was a selfish act, to admit to loving yourself. I didn’t love myself. When I looked at myself, I didn’t feel anything. I saw my worth through the eyes of the people I surrounded myself with and for those years, to the friends and significant others that I had over those 10 years my worth was a zero.
It wasn’t until 2015 that I cut everyone who didn’t see my worth out of my life. It took a major betrayal on their part to make me do this.
I only had my family which was enough for me. I no longer had friends and I realized life was no different than when they were in my life, except I no longer had those people there to feel that I had to do what they expected to be looked at as good enough to exist in their lives.
I had been jotting down ideas and writing for the past 7 years by this time but this was when I began to write full time. I would wake up in the morning, put my headphones on and write for 8 to sometimes even 12 hours a day. I turned off social media for a year and it was the most peaceful time of my life. No one had access to me to tell me I wasn’t good enough, they couldn’t convince me to change my mind.
I had for the first time, full control over my own life.
Then I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Why didn’t they think I was good enough?” I mean, I did everything they wanted – So, why wasn’t I good enough?
It had taken me until 2017 to realize why. It took a lot of time with my family, writing, therapy, countless nights crying and finally meeting someone that was different than those people to know that the reason wasn’t my fault and that the previous 10 years were not normal.
I realize how much writing had helped me through these times, more than therapy, to overcome the abuse, heartache, and depression that I was suffering from. I won’t say that everyday I am a beaming light of sunshine and happiness, there will always be memories that take my mind back there but I know through writing and the people I have in my life now that I can overcome the depression and mindset that used to tell me, “You’re not good enough..”
Remind yourself, If today is a bad day in your books, you can always try again tomorrow. You can always edit, you can always add more words, you can always delete and write a completely different story.
All that matters is you keep trying and do not give up. If you feel that fire burning inside of you to write – then write.
I recently heard of a quote that stated you should never become fully attached to your characters, I don’t believe in this.
You should feel for your characters, they should be a branch of yourself but you should allow their life to unfold just like you live your life.
Let the character live their life, this is what you are there for – you are a writer, writing someone else’s story. If you don’t write their story, then who will?
It is not a small task, it is one you may spend months or even years doing.
If you don’t love it, if you don’t feel something for your characters, then why are you doing it?
So, why are you writing? What made you pick up a notebook and jot your ideas down or decide to stay awake until 4 a.m. every night because you NEED to write?
Everyone has their own story about what made them want to write a story..
Remember your own.